What NOT to do after “Hi”

Andrew Pilkington

Andrew Pilkington is a filmmaker with an insightful vision of the world as well as a great sense of dialog. He also has cerebral palsy. So we thought Andrew might have some new thoughts on the “Just Say Hi” campaign. We hope you enjoy his “top 5 things NOT to do when saying hi.”

1. If you can’t understand the reply, don’t pretend you did.
Then the conversation might get weird. Yes, that really happens! People act like they know what I’m saying and say things like “Yeah!” And then I go on. And then they say “Uh-huh.” And by the next sentence they’re so lost it’s like they’re staring at someone not speaking the same language. It’s okay just to ask someone to repeat things, I want to get the message across.

2. If the person is in a wheelchair, don’t bend over so you don’t look like you’re trying to get a pet to do a trick.
People worry a lot about where to be when you’re having a conversation with someone in a wheelchair. Just find a place where you can talk and listen easily. Don’t worry about having them hear you, everyone likes their personal space.

3. If the person who you’re talking to uses a motorized chair, avoid leaning on buttons, joysticks and levers.
May cause injuries to yourself! I can’t tell you how many times people have leaned on my joystick and ran over their own leg only to get upset with me. The best is when a coat gets stuck on my joystick which sends me into some sort of immovable object pinning my legs between two hard places.

4. Don’t continue the conversation by asking “are you with anyone?” Or “are you alone?”
Unless you’re trying to find out if they’re single and wanna go get a drink! I’ve been asked this question by store clerks, doormen, wait staff, cab drivers, strangers and oddly enough Rob Gronkowski. People have a hard time believing that someone in my situation is capable being out in the world without a companion or adult supervision. This question immediately discounts our intelligence and our respect, it puts us in a box.

5. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, but don’t congratulate the person for being out in the world like any other person.
A cliché response I usually get is you’re so amazing, although I am amazing, they are definitely saying that for completely different reasons. If they knew what I actually did their head would surly explode. Look, this all comes from a genuinely good place and I don’t want to discourage people from being nice. If you don’t know how how to end a conversation just say “bye” it’s the most normal thing you can do.